Pergatory and Happy Families…

This is for Kris. I totally understand his frustration with is family, and when I say family I mean his siblings. I’m posting the lyrics also, it just seems so appropriate, for all of them. I mean they have demonstrated that they are not at all in any way shape or form interested in being a “Happy Family”, in coming together or moving forward. Therefore in this case I think that this fits pretty well, I wish things were different but they never will be…

It’s one and the same

It’s one and the same, oh.

So what’s the use between death and glory?

I can’t tell between death and glory.

Happy endings, no they never bored me.

Happy endings, they still don’t bore me.

They, they have a way

A way to make you pay.

And to make you tow the line.

Though I sever my ties.

Because I’m so clever,

But clever ain’t wise.

And fuck forever,

If you don’t mind.

Oh, fuck forever,

If you don’t mind, I don’t mind, I don’t mind, I don’t mind

So what’s the tell between death and glory?

I can’t tell between death and glory.

New Labour and Tory,

Purgatory and happy familys.

One and the same,

One and the same,

No, it’s not the same.

It’s not supposed to be the same.

You know about that way,

The way they’ll make you pay,

And, the way, they make, you tow the line.

I’ll sever my ties.

Oh I’m so clever,

You’re so clever, but you’re not very nice.

So fuck forever,

If you don’t mind,

Oh, I’m stuck forever,

In your mind, your mind, your mind.

Go ahead and know about that way

To make you feel anxious and make you pay.

Annnnnnnd…

To make you tow the line, line.

I sever my ties,

Oh and I’ll never,

Sever the ties,

And fuck forever,

If you don’t mind,

See I’m stuck forever

I’m stuck in your mind, your mind, your mind, your mind.

So fuck forever

If you don’t mind

Fuck forever

If you don’t mind

They, they’ll find a way

Find a way to make you pay

And to make you toe the line

Sever the ties

I’m stuck forever

And that is your mind

Fuck forever

I’m out of your mind

Fuck forever

“Your so clever but your not very nice…” fits perfectly!

A Nation on Crazy Pills…

I think that our nation is on crazy pills. Last night Bill Maher made an excellent point on his show and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. He pointed out, as did hid guests that it doesn’t appear that it has occurred to Mitt Romney yet that not everyone wants to be a millionaire or billionaire. They showed clips of him making statements at some private fundraisers for his campaign and he was saying oh this house is so beautiful and the grounds and a Democrat would say “oh you shouldn’t have that” then he went on to say “republicans say everyone should have this” whatever.  Obviously he doesn’t comprehend that money and having more materialistic things isn’t a priority for all of us. Every time I see Mitt Romney on the news, or read another one of his idiotic statements I think more and more that anyone who supports him must be on crazy pills, they are partaking of the proverbial kool aid. I agree that Obama acts too much like a Republican, he is way to conservative. But seriously calling him the most leftist President in the history of our nation? I don’t think so, that statement first must be qualified within the proper context of history. I mean honestly if you go back to the beginning and the political climate that oh say Thomas Jefferson lived in he was pretty far to the left. Abraham Lincoln, he ended slavery, that was a pretty leftist thing to do for the time. All of this rhetoric is just sickening. I have no doubt that if Mitt Romney becomes our President our country will only slip deeper into the depression that we’ve already been in since Bush Jr. He has openly stated that his policies will just be Bush updated. Is that a good idea? NO! It is clear that people don’t like Romney, the ultra right wingers will never trust a Mormon. Are they going to vote for him anyway though because they just hate Obama that much? Probably. I never thought that I would ever say this but Newt probably was their best choice, then Santorum but not Romney. At least Newt knows what he was getting into, he knows how things work. Is he crazy? Yes but he is actually a conservative. Santorum is just a repressed psycho Catholic but he stands by his convictions, is that what is best for our nation? Hell no but he is still better than Romney who changes his position constantly. I just don’t know how one could like Romney more than Obama, I don’t get it. Romney doesn’t even know what Romney wants or will do, he would have to consult his masters to answer that question. Grover Norquist will be dictating to Romney how things will go. Last night we watched about five minutes of Sean Hannity’s show, holy shit that guy is disgusting. He had the room filled with other right wing nuts and they were belittling Obama for taking the political credit for finding and killing Osama Bin Laden. Sean Hannity was discussing what a ggod thing torture is, and how without it Obama couldn’t have gotten Bin Laden. So loosely Bush and Cheney should get the credit because they supported torture. These people’s twisted logic is immoral and sickening. Of course hannity stocks the room only with people that agree with him, it is more like an insane pro torture infomercial than a news program. Torture is wrong and immoral for the record and the ends don’t justify the means! These people are insane and they’ve hijacked our country, they are an embarrassment. They talk about water boarding and pepper spraying children like it is no big deal, oh its just a “food product”. Crazy! I hope that Fox looses its FCC licenses all of them and is shut down. Even if they are temporarily shut down it should happen. The British are going to cut them off, they found News Corp, who owns Fox, guilty of wire tapping, fraud, computer hacking, there are several other heinous charges but those are all that I can remember. This rant is done for now. I live in a nation where crazy is becomming the norm and it is not a good crazy but a scary crazy, a Fox news conservative kind of crazy! SOS help us God please…

Dear Prudence…

The Spotify link didn’t work the way I thought it would… You tube is much simpler isn’t it…I almost named Lauren after this song and had her twin made it one of them surely would have been named Prudence. I just was worried that the other little kids would make fun of a beautiful but different name…

Hopefully this works better than Spotify…

PTSD Nightmares…

This reminds me of Kris’ PTSD nightmares, I am not “in” them so I can’t speak for him but I am there when he wakes up, or often I awaken him from them because I can tell they are happening…This just reminds me of that state, that mental state…

With my ego in my gut

My babbling mouth would wash it up

But now I’ve started learning how

I keep it shut

My door was never locked,

Until one day a trigger come cocking,

But now I’ve started learning how

I keep it shut

Wide eyes would clean and dust

Things that decay, things that rust

But now I’ve started learning how

I keep it shut

Harm is in us

Harm is in us, but power to arm

Harm is in us

Harm is in us, but power to arm

Leave it open

Harm is in us but power to arm

Narrow mind would persecute it,

Die a little to get to it

But now I’ve started learning how

I leave it open

I keep it in a cage

Watched it weeping, but made it stay

But now I’ve started learning how

I leave it open

I leave it open

Harm is in us but power to arm

Harm is in us

Harm is in us but power to arm

Harm is in us

Harm is in us but power to arm

Harm is in us

Harm is in us

Harm is in us

Harm in you and in me

What you letting in?

Tell me what your letting in?

Say what we’re gonna let in!

We let the weirdness in

We let the weirdness in

We let the weirdness in

We let the weirdness in!

That is it, and I must say that I love Kate B so much!

 

Forgiveness and The Forgiven…

I have been thinking about this for days and had a whole discussion about it with my Mother today. After the big talk I am wondering what is the real problem? I went through the self test and I can say that no I don’t envy. no I don’t want to cause harm, no I don’t hold a grudge. Do I gossip, I think that I absolutely have done that. Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way that certain people in this family are not trustworthy and will gossip it all back up to create drama. Is this in itself gossiping? Good question. I don’t believe so as this is for my own mental health and I am not mentioning names just “in laws”. The question about do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done? Now that one I think is what started this, at least part of it. I had this done to me, I was eliminated from someones life for some reason and then got a message about it and was told that they were just “too booked up to deal with me right now”. Now that hurt, that was nasty rude and uncalled for. The weirdest part of that is I still don’t understand why? That lead to Kris getting defensive about how I was being treated, I don’t blame him and I almost think that was partialy why the nasty message was sent to me. So that is what sent things nuclear. I almost wonder if it was a deliberate thing to create more drama. After all of this meshugina does any of it even matter? No. I really don’t care. I think I said in another one of my blog posts, in one of my self imposed therapy sessions that they were all forgiven. I don’t have an issue with forgiveness. Will they ever apologize? No. Will they ever even discuss and try to move forward? Probably not. Does it matter? NO. I can honestly say they are forgiven. This brings me back to the whole insanity thing, I honestly think there may be some of this at play here. Why else would a person act like this? If they are mentally ill then they need help, they need support. I don’t know for sure but I think there may be a bit of that going on here. Fascinating, once you deconstruct all of this stuff it makes more sense in a way but at the same time is just as bizarre. My in laws are not nice people, they don’t treat us very well. Why I don’t know, does it  matter? Evidently not. Are they forgiven? Yes as I don’t believe that forgiveness is the problem. Will they mend fences and rebuild damaged relationships? Probably not. At the end of the day if a person, sane or insane just simply doesn’t care and isn’t willing to get over themselves and move past all of the drama then there is no moving forward. I mean sitting here thinking about this I think that for the most part they really just don’t care straight up pure and simple. I mean it shouldn’t be that hard to just communicate, but for whatever reason it is. I isn’t that difficult to just move on and rebuild, I don’t think it is at least but there is an unwillingness beyond comprehension. This brings me back to what Kris says his father referred to as “Sunday Mormons” they act one way but do another. In this case dealing with the fact that this is “family” and regardless of everything else we are commanded to ‘stop it” and move forward but there is this resistance leads me to the conclusion that they just could care less. I knew this its just hard to believe. They are forgiven but like I said forgiveness isn’t the problem here, at least for us. See what I mean? What a bunch of utterly confusing people. You know you’d think when you get married you would have this whole other family, sisters and brothers that you get to enjoy relationships with you have your own that you grow up with then this whole other family. Not in this case, they could care less about any of it and seem to prefer division to unity. Why? I don’t know but that is where we are…

Please someone tell me?

 

Psuedo Mormons and More In Law Insanity…

Wow this is such a good way to vent my frustration with my in laws. So conference just happened and one of the best talks of the whole thing seemed to be wholly and if not entirely directed at my husband and his family. Yes the advice was universal and should  be followed  by all but it particularly was directed at my husband’s family in my opinion. The advice was basically “stop it” and “move on” forgive and rebuild. Interestingly I learned today that the super pious in laws, the worst offenders in my view are following this advice a little but just a little. They’ve reconciled with their Mother which is wonderful, she should be able to enjoy relationships with all of her children in these latter years. No what I’ve just been told is that is as far as they are going! What do you call a pious self righteous Mormon who only follows the direction half way? I call them pseudo Mormons. I admit that I am of the opinion that there is a little insanity going on there, maybe some chemical imbalances but really? The direction, the commandment was pretty straight forward and it isn’t hard to understand. What a bunch of hypocrites! I feel so much better that I got that out. How does a person become like that? How do they rationalize all of this in their own minds? That is one I would love to hear. I know exactly what Kris will do at this point, he will kill them with kindness. What else? This pneumonia is really  not fun, at least my daughter is finally getting better. I will elaborate on this more later. i am so epicaly confused by these people, they are the biggest bunch of confusing people that have ever lived. Kris says that his Dad referred to them as “Sunday Mormons”, they have time for everything under the sun but they haven’t the time to say hello to a family member or spend a few minutes of their time sending out an e mail. It baffles me, how do people get this way? Can they loose their temple card for not following the advice given at conference? That would be interesting to find out wouldn’t it? The other thing that is hilarious to me is that they are like lock step united, one decides that they will speak to their Mother again so the other does as well, and they are both united in only half way following the advice or commandment I’m not sure which it is, and their brother is still the “bad guy”! What a bunch of hypocrite pseudo Mormons! TBC…

WTF?

What is going on in this country of ours lately? Rush Limbaugh is so disgusting and vile I just don’t know what to say. I am actually glad that he is finally reaping what he has been sowing for so many years. I’m happy that his sponsors are dropping him like mad, the fact that it took them this long to figure it out is a but disturbing but oh well. Then we have Ann Coulter who is an even bigger psycho Republican then I thought that she was. She thinks that women shouldn’t vote and that the voting age should be raised to 26! Her reasons for thinking that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote are the most disturbing of all. Her reason is that if women couldn’t vote then in her view a Republican could actually win the White House. What? So your party is so insane that the only way to win is to take away the vote from half of the population? Wow, maybe you need to come down from your crazy high and enter reality, possibly find a new political party. I can’t even begin to imagine why anyone would listen to these people, seriously. What else, that rant I just had to get out and now I feel so much better. I guess the Republicans really think that everyone should be like the Duggars which is so insane. I would never home school my kids, not because I can’t I am a college grad after all but I wouldn’t and they would be awkward little weirdos. There are enough odd balls in this family the world REALLY doesn’t need any more coo koo Bancroft’s. If I was a home school parent that is what we would end up with. I am not going to say anything else about the in laws for the snoopers and staulkers. Sorry if you want to stir shit up you’ll have to try a little harder because your last attempt failed miserably. Here’s some advice get over yourself and be nice that will solve everything. Ok enough, my next post will be more interesting I promise…

A Republican Dream!

I guess this is what Rick Santorum wants our country to look like…for the staulkers that have a sudden interest in what I have to say, this is a joke…I wouldn’t expect you to understand British humor…

Hello crazy! How are you today?

Look I get it sometimes the past contains things that aren’t very pleasant. I also get that you think you are superior, that it is somehow perfectly acceptable for you to literally “sit in judgment” of others, oh wait you call it “righteous judgement” right I have to remind myself you are better than the rest of us. Is that any reason to snoop in on someone’s life? You know perfectly well that you could care less about me or my husband, yes my  husband and your brother. If you really want to not have any connection then why are you reading this? What difference does it make to you what I say or who I talk about. Sending my blog around to others really is pathetic. If you have something that you want to say then say it to me. If you have a question then just ask.  Seriously, trying to stir up trouble and cause more angst, trying to set fire to and torch more relationships between other people is seriously beyond pathetic. Why do you care who has a functional relationship with who? Why not worry about yourself and maybe work on yourself, maybe make a tiny bit of effort to practice what you preach and rather than try to cause drama and ill feelings maybe try to be nice. Maybe try to be “Christlike”. You are forgiven, I just don’t care, I really don’t. Anyone who reads this, and has any questions I encourage you to just ask, I promise you will get a straight and honest answer. Those that read it and send it around and gossip about it, well what can I say? I guess your life is as sad as I was thinking, you really have nothing better to do than to bother with my thoughts and opinions?  Wow!