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To tip or not to tip that is the question…

I’ve been reading about the tipping fiasco that has been circulating on the web. Some “Pastor” left a smug message and a zero tip, the server published it and thus lost her job. I have some strong feelings about gratuity…I shall share a story, a true story..

When I first met my husband I didn’t know a whole lot about him, we were just getting to know each other not unusual or anything. What I did know was that he wasn’t a rich guy, he has a lot of responsibilities that he took care of. The first time we ever went out the tab for what we had was probably in the twelve dollar range, he left a six dollar tip. I noticed, I wondered if he meant to leave two and  mixed up the fiver? I didn’t say anything and we went on our way. After that every time we went anywhere where a tip would be involved I noticed that he always left a large tip, it didn’t matter if the service was good, bad or otherwise, it didn’t matter if the server was male or female, if it was a pizza delivery driver or a cocktail waitress, he ALWAYS left a big tip.  I think this is a good quality, it reflects more about the person, it shows that they are generous and appreciative. He never said anything about it, I don’t think that he was even aware that I had noticed this about him. After a few months I finally asked him about it. He laughed and couldn’t believe that I had noticed, he was surprised. He explained to me that yes he does it on purpose and it isn’t ever a mistake, he doesn’t mix up ones and fives, or fives and tens, he leaves big tips deliberately. He explained to me that growing up his Mother was a waitress. She worked her butt off and he knew that there were probably a million other things she would have rather been doing than serving people salads and chicken fried steak. It was her job though and she did it anyway and the thought of someone stiffing his Mom and not leaving her a tip really just pissed him off. Therefore he will never be that person, so he always leaves a big tip. It is unfortunate that more people don’t see things from this perspective.

The minimum wage for servers is incredibly low, I think it is in the two to three dollar range. The person who serves you your food generally has to tip out the bar tender and the bussers, for making the drinks and for cleaning the tables. Then they keep what is left over, and they claim those tips and pay taxes on them.

If you go to an establishment that involves tipping, be generous. Just plan on it, if you can’t afford it then go somewhere that is a non tipping place, like a fast food restaurant or just stay home and cook yourself. Just plan on leaving at least a 30% tip, and never anything less than 20%, or just be really generous and leave a 100% tip. If its a delivery driver give them a fiver – “Drivers get Fivers”. In the end you are really paying it forward, earning Karma credits, you never know who will notice and what it will tell them about your character. I learned something about my husband that way, something that he wouldn’t have been able to explain, something that he didn’t even know that I had noticed – and it spoke volumes!

The other part, the smug message. Just don’t…if you must though please don’t count that as your “tip”. If you want to share a scripture passage or whatever and you feel that you must then ok but seriously leave a real tip…

I came across this article today and it fits perfectly with what I had written about. What a lovely legacy to leave! http://samuel-warde.com/2013/02/speaking-of-tipping-your-server-the-amazing-legacy-left-by-one-man/

I wrote this post months ago and since then I have come across two articles that fit in perfectly.  Are people this judgmental and mean?  Really?  If someone is going to immediately pass judgement based on how a server looks then why not ask to be moved to another section? You are happy to accept the service but you just don’t want to pay for it.

A lesson on judging a book by its cover. I had these two teachers in school, they were actually sisters in law, married to a set of brothers.  From all outward appearances one would have made the assumption that they were gay, both of them, but the truth was they weren’t.  This was not lost on them and they were heavy on the message of don’t make assumptions and pre judge without all of the facts. They never came right out and said it but it was clear.  In retrospect I’ve often wondered if they did it on purpose, their appearance that is, to drive that message home.  They were both excellent teachers. The link is below, I hope people will stop this and just tip the server!  You never know they could have a family at home they are supporting, in fact most probably do…

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2013/11/diners-refuse-tip-for-n-j-waitress-former-marine-due-to-her-lesbian-lifestyle/

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